Thinning the Herd

You hear all the time that when you go through tough times you find out who your real friends are. Let’s look at it another way. When you go through tough times you find out who your real friends aren’t.

It is definitely true that when life gets turned upside down you find out who truly has your back.I will never deny that. When I first said something on Facebook about my fight with depression I was inundated with messages from people telling me how much they love me, how they know I’ll get through this shit show, and reminding me how important I am to them. I expected that. Why? Because I have some truly amazing people in my life and I love them more than can be described.

Do you know what else I got when I posted on Facebook? Crickets. There are people in my life that I was sure beyond any shadow of a doubt would be there. I even reached out to someone that I have always loved and looked up to and told them I missed them and loved them. I received no response whatsoever.Nothing from someone who grew up with me and has known me literally my entire life. Other people that I was sure would at least acknowledge the fact that I’m having a rough time of it have said nothing.

Now, I can’t tell you why these people have responded the way they have. I don’t know what goes on in other people’s minds and hearts. It hurts though. It makes you feel like shit that someone who has in the past professed to be your friend, to love you, promised to be there for you is so noticeably absent. The silence from them is louder than the toll from a bell at midnight. It echoes around in the darkness of your psyche and makes you wonder why they just don’t care.

It’s not you. If they can’t be bothered to treat you like they would want to be treated themselves if everything went to hell for them, then screw them. You have enough crap to deal with without having to wonder why they can’t be bothered . I’m not saying they’re supposed to handle everything for you. It’s still your job. Just remember that maybe they don’t have the emotional ability at that point in time. Maybe you gave them too much credit or maybe they have things going on that keep them from reaching out. Whether their absence in your time of need is due to circumstances beyond their control or they just really don’t care, it’s not your problem. You can’t change them. I’m learning that lesson the hard way.

Now is the time to appreciate the ones who are there. Maybe even some you didn’t expect to be there. It sucks big time to find out who your friends aren’t. Just think about how awesome it is to find out exactly who your friends are. You are worth it no matter what anyone says.

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